Ashes Eve

Posted on March 8, 2011 by Matt Keough

The liturgical season of Lent begins tomorrow, so of course that means many of us will be “giving up” something. I have about seven gallons of carbonated beverage in my gullet, as of midnight I will forgo soda until Easter Sunday. I have a built-in support group at work as several of us are taking a “40 Day Challenge”.

The 40 Day Challenge is, of course, derived from Lenten atonement albeit by several degrees of separation. I didn’t point out that if you are really doing something to improve yourself for the next forty calendar days, you will have finished the challenge before Easter.  But you can’t really ask a secular workplace to get into the arcane details of Catholic tradition.

In fact, the mere hint of giving something up for forty days that happens to coincide with Lent brought out comments from some folks who claim to be still recovering from Catholic guilt brought on by attending Catholic grade school. When overhearing someone younger than me claim this, I had to bite my tongue. Catholic grade schools have not been drumming in the lifelong guilt trip since sometime before I attended them.

Biting my tongue will also come in handy for my other officially posted 40 Day Challenge. I shall refrain from the comment “That’s what she said!”

So starting tomorrow, I’ll be soda-deprived with a sore tongue. Bring it ON!

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Opening Days

Posted on March 6, 2011 by Matt Keough

Time to return to blogging. This is about the fourth or fifth post in which I’ve had to say that. Actually I don’t have to say that,  but I feel compelled to do so.

Two new seasons are near upon us, Lent and baseball. Lent’s opening day is Ash Wednesday. Baseball’s Opening Day is a bit later. Given this confluence of two important aspects of my life, I’ve decided to update the banner at the top of this blog. I took the picture at Progressive Field before a Mass held there last fall. It was odd to attend Mass at Progressive Field, but my parish is pretty progressive so it felt familiar.

Be forewarned that my posts will probably touch on either or both sports and Catholic topics in the near future.

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Diversity is skin deep at the Plain Dealer

Posted on January 13, 2011 by Matt Keough

I was greeted this morning’s Plain Dealer with the above the fold headline “Ohio Gov. John Kasich’s 20 Cabinet appointments so far lack diversity”. The article was illustrated with the following graphic -

Guess what these people have in common…

They all come from the same part of the state? No.

They have all worked at the same company? No.

Their degrees are all in the same discipline from the same university? Try again!

They are all born-again Christians? Maybe, not likely, but that isn’t what was mentioned in the article.

The shocking truth – they are all WHITE PEOPLE!

The Cleveland Plain Dealer is the only major daily in a county that has seen shocking levels of corruption among its public servants. We’ve seen accusations and convictions for bribery, falsification, theft in office, taking envelopes stuffed with cash and accepting dates with chatty Vegas hookers.

Most of these activities never made into the paper until the warrants were served and the guys in the FBI windbreakers showed up and ruined everybody’s lunch hour. Having learned their lesson, the investigative reporters at the PD are now government watchdogs again!

My real objection to the premise of this article?  Your skin color does not determine your skills, your view of the role of government in society, your favorite dessert, or even  the content of your character. If you truly think that one’s race or ethnicity determines one’s qualifications, intelligence, or integrity it seems to me you are a bigot.

Monday is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I’m very glad my kids are learning about the man and his ideals. I’m just sorry that we are still failing to live up to these ideals by judging people by the color of their skin.

Ohio Gov. John Kasich’s 20 Cabinet appointments so far lack diversity

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The prodigal pipes

Posted on January 7, 2011 by Matt Keough

Since I blogged about this story yesterday, I want to share the video of Ted Williams’ (the homeless man with the pipes of gold) reunion with his mother. I know a friend of mine saw this and thought it was strange that his mother seemed to dwell on the disappointment and the shame she felt because the low state to which he had fallen.

What I’m reminded of is the parable of the prodigal son. The image of the embrace of a relieved parent and the troubled child reminds me of Rembrandt’s interpretation of the story. A man falling to his knees in gratitude upon returning home. He is also seeking forgiveness. The elderly parent is overwhelmed with joy, but still pained by the son’s actions.

I don’t think Ted Williams’ mother is harsh. I think she loves him and is pained by the trouble he has seen. She knows this may be one last chance for him to turn away from a life that might lead to losing him forever.

If you are one who is inclined to pray, it wouldn’t hurt to remember all who are fighting the demons Ted fights.

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Quicken Loans and Ted Williams – high class or just crass?

Posted on January 7, 2011 by Matt Keough

This week’s Internet sensation is the story of Ted Williams, the man with a great announcer’s voice who was discovered when a video by the Columbus Dispatch went viral.

He is now on a whirlwind tour, appearing on just about every network morning show and soon to be on late night programs as well. It is entirely understandable why so many people are swept up in this story of hard times and redemption. I’ll admit getting a little misty-eyed when I saw him speaking about his gratitude to God that his estranged mother lived long enough to see him turn his life around.

Along with television and radio appearances, he is getting job offers. One of these job offers comes from Quicken Loans and the Cleveland Cavaliers (both owned  by Dan Gilbert). They made the offer very publicly, calling into a radio show.  They also offered a home to Mr. Williams.

Quicken Loans did some good, in my estimation by making this offer. But it has become tainted because they are now using twitter, tumblr and a new website to make a social media marketing campaign out of it. Believe me, I know about the positive returns of catching on with buzz and linkbait. However, it really seems a bit wicked to be so flippant as to boast about Fortune workplace ratings…..

Hopscotch courts……

and amuse yourselves with inside jokes….

When ostensibly engaged in an act of goodwill, isn’t a little crass to treat the intended beneficiary as a sideshow attraction? You can’t tell me that Quicken Loans and Dan Gilbert are not trying to get as much publicity as humanly possible as a result of this job offer. So I called them on it, directed to Dan Gilbert’s account on twitter.

And Kelly at Quicken Loans replied….

Reputation monitoring is wise for any corporation and kudos to Kelly for her quick reply. But do see what they did there? They managed to reinforce that they are building a viral marketing campaign around this website by citing the number of comments. Later in the day they boasted of more than 1,000 comments and solicited more.

None of this dissuades me from concluding that Quicken Loans and Dan Gilbert are trying to “make hay while the sun shines” on this story. Seems they are forgetting this story is not fiction. There is a real man involved here.  Ted Williams is more important (as a human being with intrinsic dignity) than your zeal to convince the world that Quicken Loans is a groovy place to work.

UPDATE!

Since they seem genuine (and I’m a Cavs fan)  I’ll give Kelly @QuickenLoans space to respond.

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The Keough Kazoo Orchestra wishes you a Happy New Year!

Posted on December 31, 2010 by Matt Keough

The Keough Kazoo Orchestra wishes you a 2011 straight out of heaven!

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It’s my funeral

Posted on December 27, 2010 by Matt Keough

I’ve been meaning to write down my wishes for my funeral, but time never seems to allow. Since I’m trying to convince anyone who cares about this little blog that I’ve not abandoned it or you, dear reader, I will now kill two bird with one stone. What follows are instructions for my funeral.

  1. There will be no immediate canonization. I’ve been to funerals where it was literally stated by the priest that NAME is now in Heaven, waiting for us to join him. No. We can’t know this to be true. We can hope this is true. However, I’m asking you now for your fervent and continuous prayers for the repose of my soul and that I may be out of Purgatory as quickly as possible. Please have lots of Masses said for me.
  2. No “Eagles Wings”. Yoohoo! Please banish the guitars and the Haugen/Haas/Joncas monopoly for one day.
  3. No eulogy by my friends or family members. Please say nice things about me. But do it at the funeral home, the grave site or at the local pub. For that matter, make a Facebook group in my honor. However, I want my funeral Mass to be full-on about Salvation. If I was a nice guy, I’d love for y’all to hear about it. But my funeral is not the time nor the place.Incensed
  4. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. By this I mean I want incense to form a cloud visible on Doppler radar. To be frank, I feel a little cheated because I’ve not smelled nor seen incense at my parish except for one Mass this Advent and Christmas season.
    I want a man to smell his jacket a week later and say “Wow – They really laid it on thick at Keough’s funeral.”
  5. If at all possible have the alter servers dressed in cassock and surplus. I never cared for the little hoodies and rope belts look. It is fine for the Franciscans. My middle name is Francis, but I think the black and white look is more fitting for this occasion.

These are simple requests, no? If these simple instructions are honored I promise not to haunt you to your dying days. Ok?

Image courtesy of jdbradly

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My fake but accurate animation

Posted on December 22, 2010 by Matt Keough

Back in the Dan Rather Memogate days, it was acknowledged that the actual documents presented in the CBS report were forgeries but they represented something believed to be true by the source. The phrase “Fake But Accurate” entered into our lexicon.

Because CBS is still considered a shining example of journalistic integrity…I typed that with a straight face…I think I can have a clear conscience when I present the following animated re-enactment. This event didn’t actually happen. But it accurately reflects a conversation that could happen at anytime. On a tennis court.

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I still think it is festive

Posted on December 20, 2010 by Matt Keough

There is an annual Christmas event we attend at the Lake Farmpark called Country Lights. The best part for the kids is a Santa’s Workshop where volunteer elves help the children make wooden toys. This year we brought home a penguin, a pirate ship, a jet plane and an angel fish. I’m certain that they call it a generic angel fish rather than Nemo to avoid the licensing fees and possible cease and desist. But we all know it is Nemo.

The highlight for me is a ride in a wagon pulled by a team of two draft horses. The circuit is festooned with lights representing holiday and fairy tale scenes. This year there was a gentle snowfall to add to the Currier and Ives vibe. We also had a wagon to ourselves, which allowed us the have a Christmas sing-along. Our singing couldn’t have been to bad. The horses didn’t bolt.

I thought I would get in the Christmas spirit and wear one of my snazzier ties. It is covered in baseballs wearing Santa hats. Fun, right? I showed it to my seven-year-old. He loves baseball, so I thought he would love my tie. Not so much, it tuns out.

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That 15 Guitarists meme

Posted on December 17, 2010 by Matt Keough

I usually don’t cross post from Facebook (or anywhere, really) to my little blog. But this exercise seemed to bring out some things that might be interesting given my post a couple of days ago about Guitarists, Guitar Players and Guitar Owners.

I was tagged to name 15 Guitarists in 15 minutes. Here is my list:

  1. Les Paul – had a record of his with Mary Ford when I was a kid. My dad told me he was a pioneer and THEY NAMED A FREAKING GUITAR AFTER HIM
  2. Peter Buck – I had a major REM phase
  3. Django Reinhardt  - another pioneer and a cool name
  4. Pat Metheny – If for no other reason than “As Falls Wichita,So Falls Wichita Falls” is a great name for an album
  5. Joe Walsh “In the City” and ILBTS. Nuff Said
  6. Pete Townsend. OK – Pete is a bit of a head case, but the Who rocked. And his White City album was great too. And don’t forget “Let My Love Open The Door”
  7. Roy Clark – Hee Haw was on in the house when I was a kid. In retrospect, probably more for Gunilla Hutton than Roy. But all is well that ends well. And Gunilla…wow!
  8. Brad Paisley. Damn good player and a Browns fan.
  9. Ted Nugent – riff on Cat Scratch Fever was EPIC. He is really funny and a gun rights advocate.
  10. George Benson – smooth. I like smooth.
  11. Mark Knopfler – Money For Nothing. Brothers In Arms. Check out Local Hero and Screenplaying. (You are welcome in advance)
  12. Jim Mackey – Full Action Hose
  13. Mike Curry – Full Action Hose
  14. Rob Ervin – taught me the chords to Fisherman’s Blues. The first song I could play on the guitar
  15. Roger McGuinn – listen to Turn, Turn, Turn

Tell me who I missed in the comments.

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