I am a Browns fan. I have no rooting interest. Some would say I should root against the Patriots because Bill Belichick was not well-loved when he was the Browns coach. I don’t live in the past when it comes to the Browns. As a matter of fact, I don’t live in the present. The only place a Browns fan can live is in the future. In the future the Browns will win the Super Bowl.

I will admit there is scant evidence that this will happen anytime soon. It does not matter. This is how we cope.  If we were to dwell on the last decade or so of Browns performances, we would only become bitter and cynical.

So on this day of great excitement or disappointment for Patriots and Giants fans, do not despair. ONE DAY THE BROWNS WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL!

You might think it odd that I refer to a guy who was formerly a professional baseball player as “poor guy”, but I would not trade my life for his. No way, no how.  Although we might think it was good luck to marry a former Playboy bunny, they are now divorced.  “Matt Keough Divorce” is a suggested search.

I’ve banged up my body via lack of athleticism and not minding which step of the ladder I was on. But I’ve never been drilled in the head by a ball hit off the bat of a MLB player, so another suggested search, “Matt Keough brain injury“, doesn’t apply to me either.

This humble blog does show up for “Matt Keough 2011“, which makes sense. I am Matt Keough and I did write at least a few posts in 2011.

I’m really glad nobody really cares about my “Matt Keough Stats“!

I feel fortunate that “Matt Keough arrested” is talking about the other guy as well. Behavior modification in later adulthood also gets credit for avoiding my true identity ranking well in Google for that one.

In short, while it may seem from the outside that the people in the spotlight are in a position to be envied, that really is not the case.  I wish the more famous Matt Keough nothing but better days ahead. I also wish us both less dramatic suggested search topics from Google.

Hank might not be the most well-spoke man, but he was not saying President Obama acts like Hitler, dresses like Hitler or is a vegetarian (like Hitler.) He was making a bad analogy. Any analogy that involves Hitler is a bad analogy, of course. It is unwise in every meaning of the word to evoke that kind of evil.

What amazes me, though, is the repetition by news sources that he compared Obama to Hitler. I guess the story was too good to check. I don’t think an honest person who watched the clip could conclude he was comparing the two men. You might just as accurately say he was comparing Boehner or Kasich to Hitler, if you applied the same (lack of) logic.

Also, while it irritates me the way the story was framed, it also irritates me that anyone would invoke the First Amendment to defend Williams. ESPN isn’t the government, and they can play pretty much any song they choose before Monday Night Football. It is not as though many people will see it anyway.

To keep it concise, here are some items I would like to cross off.

1. Ride in the Goodyear blimp. Goodyear is about to convert its fleet of blimps to dirigibles, so this is an urgent matter. I ask any of my friends with a direct line to Goodyear public relations the help me make this happen.
2. Skydive. This one is simple. But I’m a pretty large guy and have the little voice inside my head saying that the parachute couldn’t handle it.
3. Get a bad ass tattoo of St. Michael driving a sword through Satan’s head. I can’t decide if it would be in color or where I’d get it.
4. Travel to Ireland
5. Travel to the Vatican
6. Buy a nice bit of land somewhere in the country with a little cabin and some water to fish in.
7. Fly in a WWII fighter plane
8. Kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl. (OK – that’s not going to happen, see next item)
9. See the Browns field goal kicker kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl.
10. Hit the winning home run in the World Series. (Sigh -see the next item)
11. See the Indians win the World Series

So there you have it, the things I’d like to experience before departing this life. I don’t really expect my blog readers to help with any items other than #1. If you happen to be a member of the Cleveland Indians, the Cleveland Browns or a tattoo artist let’s talk.

Two new seasons are near upon us, Lent and baseball. Lent’s opening day is Ash Wednesday. Baseball’s Opening Day is a bit later. Given this confluence of two important aspects of my life, I’ve decided to update the banner at the top of this blog. I took the picture at Progressive Field before a Mass held there last fall. It was odd to attend Mass at Progressive Field, but my parish is pretty progressive so it felt familiar.

Be forewarned that my posts will probably touch on either or both sports and Catholic topics in the near future.

He is now on a whirlwind tour, appearing on just about every network morning show and soon to be on late night programs as well. It is entirely understandable why so many people are swept up in this story of hard times and redemption. I’ll admit getting a little misty-eyed when I saw him speaking about his gratitude to God that his estranged mother lived long enough to see him turn his life around.

Along with television and radio appearances, he is getting job offers. One of these job offers comes from Quicken Loans and the Cleveland Cavaliers (both owned  by Dan Gilbert). They made the offer very publicly, calling into a radio show.  They also offered a home to Mr. Williams.

Quicken Loans did some good, in my estimation by making this offer. But it has become tainted because they are now using twitter, tumblr and a new website to make a social media marketing campaign out of it. Believe me, I know about the positive returns of catching on with buzz and linkbait. However, it really seems a bit wicked to be so flippant as to boast about Fortune workplace ratings…..

Hopscotch courts……

and amuse yourselves with inside jokes….

When ostensibly engaged in an act of goodwill, isn’t a little crass to treat the intended beneficiary as a sideshow attraction? You can’t tell me that Quicken Loans and Dan Gilbert are not trying to get as much publicity as humanly possible as a result of this job offer. So I called them on it, directed to Dan Gilbert’s account on twitter.

And Kelly at Quicken Loans replied….

Reputation monitoring is wise for any corporation and kudos to Kelly for her quick reply. But do see what they did there? They managed to reinforce that they are building a viral marketing campaign around this website by citing the number of comments. Later in the day they boasted of more than 1,000 comments and solicited more.

None of this dissuades me from concluding that Quicken Loans and Dan Gilbert are trying to “make hay while the sun shines” on this story. Seems they are forgetting this story is not fiction. There is a real man involved here.  Ted Williams is more important (as a human being with intrinsic dignity) than your zeal to convince the world that Quicken Loans is a groovy place to work.

UPDATE!

Since they seem genuine (and I’m a Cavs fan)  I’ll give Kelly @QuickenLoans space to respond.

Because CBS is still considered a shining example of journalistic integrity…I typed that with a straight face…I think I can have a clear conscience when I present the following animated re-enactment. This event didn’t actually happen. But it accurately reflects a conversation that could happen at anytime. On a tennis court.

On December 8, 1941, Feller enlisted in the Navy, volunteering immediately for combat service, becoming the first Major League Baseball player to do so following the attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7. Feller served as Gun Captain aboard the USS Alabama, and missed four seasons during his service in World War II, being decorated with five campaign ribbons and eight battle stars. His bunk is marked on the Alabama at Battleship Memorial Park in Mobile, Alabama. Feller is the only Chief Petty Officer in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Just imagine what kind of records he could have held if he had not missed four seasons in the prime of his playing days.  He set an example of selfless sacrifice that I can’t imagine being duplicated from any top players in professional baseball today.

Mr. Feller had a reputation as being gruff and grumpy, but he earned the right to be his own man.  Anthony Castrovince, an excellent writer who had a chance to return to Iowa with Mr. Feller, shared his thoughts recently.

I’m glad my oldest son, a baseball fan of the highest degree, had the opportunity to meet him and shake his hand. It was obvious that Mr. Feller loved the game of baseball and was eager to share a moment with the boy. And, of course, we got an autograph. He was famous for signing autographs, so a Bob Feller autograph is not rare or particularly valuable. Men like Bob Feller are.

By the way – I misspoke when I guessed the century that the real Saint Nicholas lived.

Some of the best (so far):

55FreakFan Death March

brownstownbrian Why can’t we be friends?

stewmj Break your heart – taio Cruz

OSU_FTW Metallica-Sad but True

apokorny Tears of a Clown

JustANailGirl You can’t always get what ya want , 99 Problems (she protects her tweets so I’ll let her decide if she wants to share all them with you.)

For the full list check out the #CavsFightSong stream!