Because CBS is still considered a shining example of journalistic integrity…I typed that with a straight face…I think I can have a clear conscience when I present the following animated re-enactment. This event didn’t actually happen. But it accurately reflects a conversation that could happen at anytime. On a tennis court.

The highlight for me is a ride in a wagon pulled by a team of two draft horses. The circuit is festooned with lights representing holiday and fairy tale scenes. This year there was a gentle snowfall to add to the Currier and Ives vibe. We also had a wagon to ourselves, which allowed us the have a Christmas sing-along. Our singing couldn’t have been to bad. The horses didn’t bolt.

I thought I would get in the Christmas spirit and wear one of my snazzier ties. It is covered in baseballs wearing Santa hats. Fun, right? I showed it to my seven-year-old. He loves baseball, so I thought he would love my tie. Not so much, it tuns out.

My favorite part of the video is when he sees the camera and reflexively says “Cheeeese”. Do you think he has had his picture taken a few times?

Let us start this journey in high school. Yes, I realize that many youth would have forsaken any thoughts of the Muppets by high school. But not all. Particularly those in show choir. My show choir experience was nothing like Glee. We did not sing Aerosmith, or Van Halen. We sang Neil Diamond, Chicago, Beach Boys, show tunes. And – wait for it – a Muppets medley.

I sang the Kermit part in Rainbow Connection. Which was kind of fitting. At that age, I was innocent and naive and was a bit of a dreamer. One who might sit on lilly pad with a banjo, metaphorically.

I actually sang this song in a Kermit voice. In public. I thought it was a success because some of the cute girls raved how charming my performance was. Thrilled, I thought this might be the springboard to getting a date. Turns out the only reason a cute girl would kiss a frog is because she was looking for a prince. Princes rarely hang around show choir swamps with banjos.

Fast forward a few years. I decided that if nobody will take you seriously, you might as well be funny on purpose. I always liked hats, puns, and some have compared my hair to fur. Fozzie is my best match. Fozzie is affable enough and tries hard. However, he isn’t particularly successful as a comedian.  But he always bears with it. Waka Woka Wocka! Side note, I’ve seen no standardized spelling for this phrase.

Little known fact; during this period I wrote spec scripts for sitcoms and quit my job to drive to California in an attempt to land an agent. Somewhere in Oklahoma, my writing partner told me there was a misunderstanding. He only took a vacation. We had to get back to Ohio in three weeks. As Fozzie would say, “AaaahHHHHhhh!”

Which brings us to the present day. Which Muppet can I say I relate to best? One who I suspect in the Muppet pantheon is not even a protagonist. My eyebrows have thickened, but I’m not old enough to be one of the old fellas in the balcony.

Sam the Eagle is my guy. I dig culture, morality and patriotism in a non-ironic way. And that puts me at odds with large segments of the popular culture.  I’m also nearly convinced I may be surrounded by weirdos. But I like the weirdos that surround me!!!

Some of the best (so far):

55FreakFan Death March

brownstownbrian Why can’t we be friends?

stewmj Break your heart – taio Cruz

OSU_FTW Metallica-Sad but True

apokorny Tears of a Clown

JustANailGirl You can’t always get what ya want , 99 Problems (she protects her tweets so I’ll let her decide if she wants to share all them with you.)

For the full list check out the #CavsFightSong stream!

It was just the rum and Coke talking. I intend to raise my boys as Cleveland sports fans. When we win it all in any league (I’m praying it is the World Series) that will be peanut butter and chocolate ambrosia!

The following is a dramatization of an actual conversation. I later told the boy I was only joking about the tent. I may have been lying.

Richard Harris (yes, the actor) had a monster hit called MacArthur Park in the 1970s. You may remember that “someone left the cake out in the rain.” Careless, yes, but not as careless as allowing Richard Harris to hang around the studio long enough to lay down enough tracks to make a full album called A Tramp Shining.

I’m compounding that mistake by converting some of the tracks from the album to share with you as MP3s. I say “some of the tracks” because I couldn’t force myself to listen to the whole album.

There is a bit of a sub-genre of songs that recall the names of former girlfriends, lovers, flings. Solitary Man by Neil Diamond and A Bang On The Ear by The Waterboys are fine examples.

Name Of My Sorrows is not.

If you are up for one more, please tell me the lyrics for Lovers Such As I are the result of some contest to write a song using an early prototype software that produced a random rhyme generator.

Excuse me, I need to pour rubbing alcohol in my ears now. (Don’t try this at home.)

So I’ve been to one or the other apple farm on at least four trips in recent years. And you would be amazed at what you can still learn. For instance, I learned that the official apple of the State of Ohio is the Melrose. Farmer Eddy taught us that.

But the best part is when the instructors have a Q & A with the preschoolers. Three-year-olds are not shy about talking a wild guess when asked a question.

For instance, Farmer Eddy said that they are picking so many apples at this time of year that they can’t put them all in in the store and sell them. What do you think we do with the rest of the apples? Patrick was quick to blurt out “Eat them!”

The nice lady reading the book about baking apple pies asked what spice people use in apple pie. Pat offered “Apple Pie Spice”. I think she was looking for cinnamon, bit when you think about it, any spice that is used on  making apple pie really is apple pie spice.

Mr. Eddy and the nice ladies at story time have probably seen hundreds of preschoolers, perhaps thousands through the years. I tip my hat to how kind an patient they are with the little ones. And I can’t wait to see them next year.

By the way, you can find Eddy Fruit Farm on Facebook

These selections are from Super Hits Dance Party by Larry Chesky and his Orchestra. No copyright is evident on the album sleeve. Based on the tracks I’d put it at about a 1973 release date.

I’ll quote the album notes:

If you want a really good time, all you need is the desire…and this album! …

The music of today is what today’s young people understand. And the timeless polka beat is what everybody understands. So Larry puts them both together in an exciting musical package.

This version of Hang On Sloopy isn’t really a full-on polka. But it is delightful none-the-less. Don’t you agree?

If you are looking for a more full-flavored polka interpretation of a hit in another genre, you are in luck. Like country music? Like polka music? You will like this polka version of Gentle On My Mind.

Glenn Campbellski couldn’t do it better.